Here Comes Santa Claus.....

It is sooooo important to us that our kids not think that Christmas is all about Santa Claus and what you get. We talk WAY more about Baby Jesus and that this is His birthday.

However, Eric and I both grew up believing in Santa and have so many fond memories of all the traditions that our family started. We still have to do everything just like Eric did it when he was little. He does let me have some of my traditions too and we have started a few of our own.

Eric has ALWAYS loved Christmas so much. Gavin is so much like his Daddy...the Christmas lights HAVE to be turned on as soon as he gets out of bed. Eric has DVR'd every Christmas movie that has come on television in the past month and Gavin and Nolen have watched them over and over.

Gavin is at the PRIME of his Santa Claus days. I know that it will be over before we know it and he will be too cool to believe that Santa actually fits down our chimney and leaves him presents. BUT right now.....he believes! It has worked out well for us. Mommy has Santa's cell phone number and we text back and forth. Also, Santa doesn't come to houses with dirty toy rooms so we had to get that cleaned up.

It is so fun seeing the boys enjoy this time of year so much....it reminds me of my best Christmases. Going to Church on Christmas eve and then going to look at Christmas lights. My Dad reading the story of Baby Jesus to us out of this huge cream Bible that we had. Exchanging gifts with my family and experiencing how much fun it was to give.

Oh...one more thing.

Here is a couple of pictures for you....this was at a Christmas party that we went to a few weeks ago. The theme was "Ugly Christmas Sweaters". Eric took this VERY seriously....he even put lights in his sweater. You may be wondering where we got our fabulous Christmas sweaters? From Eric's Mom of course. She came with an entire garbage bag of them....in her defense I haven't seen her wear them in a few years.

This picture was for our Dirty Santa gift. We framed it in a frame that said "always" all the way around it. It was really funny but it wasn't one of those gifts that got stolen. Don't worry....at the end we told them that there was a gift card behind the picture.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

What I Know....

I don't know....
1. Why I didn't get pregnant....AGAIN.
2. Why something that is sooo easy for most people (and often times happens on "accident") is sooo hard for me.

BUT.....this is what I DO know.
1. I have the most amazing husband. As hard as all this must be for him...he supports me and loves me and is so strong for me.
2. Every time that I go through all of this and it ends this way....I realize more and more the miracles that my boys are. I have done the exact same thing (4 times now....and surgery) that worked both times with them and have not gotten pregnant.
3. I have a family and friends who love me and are praying for me and I know that it has made a difference.
4. I have stopped praying and asking and begging to just get pregnant and am actually praying for God's perfect timing and perfect will AND its not just words....I really mean it.
5. I know that God has a plan and I trust Him. He knows the desires of our heart and it will happen his way and in his timing.

Merry Christmas! Gotta go love on my miracle boys.

LOVE this face!

I have decided that telling a toddler to "say cheese" does not work. This is what happens when Nolen says cheese.


But when I tell him to smile really big and show me his teeth.....this is what he does! Oh, how I love this face!!


This may be the best picture I have ever taken of Nolen.
So....no more cheese for us!

Season of Giving

Eric and I decided to start a tradition this year.

Each year we will take the kids to the Angel Tree in the mall and let them pick off a gift that they want to get for another child.

It is really important to us that our kids know what Christmas is really about.

Let me just be real here....our kids are spoiled. They want for nothing and I want them to know that they are very blessed.

So...a few weeks ago we went and picked our names. We ended up each getting one. Gavin's little boy wanted a basketball, Nolen's wanted some Star Wars figures, Eric's wanted a baseball and glove and mine wanted underwear (it broke my heart that all the little boy put on his paper was underwear).

Anyways....we went together and got everything and had it all in the bags and Gavin went with me to drop it off. He carried every thing by himself and I lifted him up and he put everything in the bin. I was so proud of him.

Ever since then he has been telling me that he wants to carry around a bucket and collect money for the kids that don't have any.

The other night we were in the drive thru at Chick Fil A and he told me that he wanted to take ALL his birthday money and buy gifts for his family. I told him that he didn't have to do that and we could open a checking account and save his money. He said...."but Mommy....it is the season of GIVING!!"

Nolen doesn't really understand what is going on. The other night after church he said that he wants a Jesus toy for Christmas so he can play with Jesus all the time. Gavin chimed in..."Good idea Nolen....then Jesus will always be with us".

However, I think Gavin really gets it. I am so proud that he knows that it is not all about him. He will tell you, "Christmas is really about Jesus and giving"....some adults don't even know that!

Merry Christmas from the Giffords!

From our family to yours.....may you have a Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year.

More conversations about babies....

It happened again.

This time with Gavin and Nolen. This was our conversation:

Nolen: Mommy, did eeww have to det a shot today @ doctor?

Me: No....no shots today.

Gavin: Why do you have to get shots sometimes?

Me: Well, we are trying to get a baby in Mommy's belly...and that is just what some people have to do.
Nolen: Ooohhh....I wanna baby in eeww bewy Mommy.

Me: Me too Nolen....we just have to pray and ask Jesus to put a baby in Mommy's belly.

Nolen: Ok...."Jesus....pwease put a baby in my Mommy's bewy. Thank eewww....AMEN!"

Me: Awww....thank you Nolen. That was so sweet!

Gavin: I have been praying that too....just in my head.

Whether out loud or in our head....we are all praying the same prayer! I love hearing my children pray. So sweet!!

Snow in Tennessee!

So....what do we do when we wake up to 3 unexpected inches of snow?

Well, we put on our rain boots and go out to play!

We make snow balls.....







































Of course we eat snow......because it is so yummy (at least Nolen thinks so...he would not stop).













And Daddy puts on his camo and drags us behind the 4 wheeler on a sled through the horse field.
Hot....I know.





Oh yeh....and we throw snow at each other......



And at cows.....




Kellen and Wyatt build snowmen. They use oreos for eyes.



And we have sooo much fun. Then we realize that snow is really wet and really cold. Nolen freaks out and then we go get a warm bath.





**Can you tell I got a new camera? I am still trying to figure out exactly how to work it but I can tell a difference in my pictures.

Gavin is 5!!!!

I cannot believe that my sweet baby is 5. The precious little boy who made me a Mommy....and has made me soooo happy ever since the day we found out we were pregnant.

He is getting so big. Of all the things that a little boy turning 5 could want for his birthday....Gavin asked for 1 thing--a booster seat. Why? Because "5 year old boys don't sit in car seats Mommy." And because "I am soooo over this car seat....this is for babies....I am gonna be 5 years old!" When he opened his booster seat this morning...he could not have been any happier.

This is what Gavin has been up to lately.

-He has really thinned out over the past year. He used to be such a little chunk and now for the 1st time since he was born he actually wears the size clothes that goes with his age--5!
-He is still allergic to milk. He knows exactly what he can and cannot eat (he tells me not to worry).
-He is in to anything and everything that his Daddy is in to. Hunting (he told Santa that he wants a real bow and arrow for Christmas), Surfing and Football (he has quite an arm on him--future Tim Tebow I think :)).
-He loves to play with Nolen--most of the time. And when I say play I mean wrestle, fight and steal toys.
-He is learning to read at Mothers Day out....and I must say he is exceptionally smart.
-He is a self-proclaimed Daddy's boy.
-He loves to be at home in his "comfies" (pajamas).....and prefers not to wear underwear--ever (is that too much information? I make him wear them to school).
-He is so sweet and is constantly telling Eric and I that he loves us. If I tell him I love him more....his response every single time is "nobody loves me more than Jesus".

Here are some pics of our big boy from the past 5 years.

Gavin born December 8, 2004 at 5:29 pm. Weighed 9lbs. 1 oz.

Going home


Gavin's 1st Birthday

Christmas 2007

Gavin's 2nd Christmas.



Summer 2008


Summer 2009


We are so proud of you Gavin! We love you so much.

*There will be another post soon about the birthday boy's big day.

From Bad to Worse....

I was so hoping to be able to say that I now have 20 eggs and they all look amazing....but that is not the case.

Two.....I have two eggs on one side and 0 on the other. I suppose the bright side (I am looking really hard) is that the 2 eggs that I do have are good eggs.

After talking with Dr. H and Eric....we are not going to do insemination this cycle. Dr. H said that she can't tell me that it is worth the cost....with only 2 eggs. We are going to try on our own. I still did my trigger shot (to make me ovulate) and I will still do progesterone so that if I do get pregnant I won't miscarry like I did last time.

Dr. H informed me today that if I do not get pregnant this month that she would try the shots for 2 more cycles and if I don't produce more eggs then there is really nothing else to do. I am on the highest dose of shots available and if they are not helping me to make more eggs then nothing will.

She told me that I am very fortunate that Eric and I started trying at a young age because if we would have waited until now to start a family.....I may not have ever gotten pregnant. I already knew that our boys were miracles....but that just makes me even more aware of just how blessed I am to have them.

I feel like a bomb was dropped on me today. I know that God can work a miracle....like I said before--I only need one egg to get pregnant. My husband, our boys and I all want another baby....I know that God has given us that desire. I think that is the hardest part--I want to give my husband another baby and our boys a sibling and I have NO control over if or when that will happen. I feel in some ways like I am letting them down....

I don't understand why we have to go through this....I don't know why it is soooo easy for some people to get pregnant and seems impossible for me. I want so badly to add to our family and it is so hard knowing that I cannot do what I was created to do.

But...it is amazing to know that there are people out there praying for us. When I get home and check my facebook or blog and I have a comment that God put me and my family on some one's heart at the exact time that I was hearing some not so good news; you just have no idea how much that means to me.

I would appreciate your prayers now.....that God would bless us with a Christmas miracle. A pregnancy would be ideal but if not that then a peace that passes all understanding...because I don't understand.

Pokey Ovaries (again) and My Boys!

So, as I said in my previous post I had an ultrasound this morning. It didn't go quite as I had hoped.

First of all....I had to take my boys. I definitely did not want to have to explain what was going on to Gavin and Nolen. Thankfully, the nurses are amazing and they brought out coloring sheets and sat with my boys while I did my "stuff".

I found out that my ovaries are still pokey. I am trying to keep in mind what happened last time....they came around and I ended up having a pretty good cycle. However, it is very hard to hear; knowing that you are so ready to be pregnant and have spent a lot of money.

She also told me about how common this is with Endometriosis patients. My body responded so well to this exact process when I was trying to get pregnant with Gavin and Nolen and now it doesn't. She said that what happens a lot of times is by the time you reach age 35....you do not make any eggs at all! Awesome.....I know.

Sooo.....we will continue with the shots and go back on Monday or Tuesday and pray that things are completely different. I know it can happen and I know it only takes one egg so I am "choosing" to think positive thoughts. As my very wise Mother says, "sometimes we say and write what we want to feel....and it helps us to actually feel that way". That made a lot more sense when she said it.

And then....the ride home. How did my boys know that my Doctors appointment had anything to do with having a baby? I have no clue because I did not tell them....but this is how the conversation went on the way home.

Gavin: Mommy, when is Jesus gonna put a baby in your tummy?"

Me: I am not sure Gavin....hopefully very soon.

Gavin: Well....what is taking so long? Can Jesus put a baby in your tummy right now?

Me: Hmmm....well Gavin--Jesus can do anything He wants to do.

Gavin: Well, then why isn't your seatbelt sticking out now cause the baby is in there?

Me: It takes a long time for the baby to grow so my tummy wouldn't be sticking out yet.

Gavin: Elliott (their cousin..who will be 2 in February) is too big for me to hold now....so we need another baby to hold. You know I will help you with my baby sister and Nolen will too. I will hold her and she will try to walk and she will fall down and I will help her up.

Nolen: I wanna hold you baby too Mommy!!!

Mommy: (Fighting back tears at this point) I know you and Nolen will be great big brothers. We just have to pray and ask Jesus to give us a baby.

Kids are so amazing! They have faith when we don't and they make us smile when we don't want to.

Thank you Jesus for my two awesome boys! Oh yeh....and I am ready for another whenever you are!!!

And....we're off (again)!

It is official.....we have begun the fertility process again.

I am on synarel twice a day (nose spray to block ovulation) and shots twice a day (3 powders to 1 liquid each time).

We started the shots on Sunday night and I will continue them until at least Friday when I have an ultrasound. I will find out how many eggs I have then and also find out how much longer I have to do the shots.

This is a not so fun, expensive and long process but obviously sooo worth it if I get pregnant.

I am hoping--praying that I will have LOTS of great eggs. We would love a Christmas miracle!

I will keep you posted on our progress!!